What one month can do

A while back Claudia Van Schalkwyk, the owner of Urban beauty Academy and founder of the UBA 90 day wellness challenge asked me or let me rather say challenged me to become a contestant on season 2 of the UBA 90 day wellness challenge.

I bravely accepted the challenge, not quite knowing all the details of what I was getting myself into.

Honestly, starting this challenge wasn’t really hard for me.

I’m not really a big meat eater but the one thing I really miss is my eggs, cheese and sauce.

The UBA 90 day wellness challenge takes on more of a holistic approach.

Helping us cleanse our systems and showing us that it is possible to cut out meat, processed foods and dairy from our diets.

Now guys, there is nothing I hate more than vegetables.  I just can’t get it down.

Thank God for Roots and Raw juices because otherwise I don’t know how I was going to get all that vegetables into my system.

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My favourite part of the challenge is the work outs.

We work out 5 days a week and our exercises vary from Yoga and Pilates to boot camp and spinning.

The added benefit to being part of this challenge is that we have access to special doctors and personal trainers who pay special attention to each of our individual needs.

And what makes it even more special is that we all get the emotional, physical and spiritual help that we need.

Before I started this challenge I picked up a lot of weight during the winter season.

I started this challenge on the 15th of October 2018 weighing 80.6kg with a body fat percentage of 37.6%.

I am so proud to announce that in one month I lost 6.7kg and 11.5% of my body fat.

How awesome is that?

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

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If someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them!

I am sorry, but I cannot stand to see women think that it is okay for men to use them as punching bags or door mats.

It infuriates me on so many levels because it is not okay! You are worth way more than that.

A man is never going to change, unless he wants to change. So stop thinking that you going to change him because it’s not going to happen!

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Not too long ago, I witnessed a woman being hit to the ground and kicked to the floor in a public setting. It was in a place where you would think it is safe because there was police and security patrolling all over.

When another man saw what this guy was doing and wanted to step in to help, the guy pulled out a knife and asked him what do you want to do?

Is this really the world we live in today? Where men want to go on a power trip, to show who’s boss?

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Being a woman who has been in numerous toxic relationships, I have learnt that if a man disrespects you the first time, let that be a lesson that it will most definitely not be last.

Get yourself out early, before it is too late.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit Details:

Shoes, bodysuit and satin kimono: The Fix

Jeans: LevisLevis

Photography done by Radclifffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse events

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Getting out of your comfort zone is the best decision you will ever make

2018 has been quite a journey for me.

It’s true what people say,  great things never happen by remaining in your comfort zone.  It happens when you step out.

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This year, God has really pushed me.  And when I say push, I mean hard.

It all started with my photography and pushing myself to do more.

I took on the runways of the Winter Wonderland Fashion show and the Odyssey Fashion fair 2018.

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I started a women empowerment movement and NPO called You are Phenomenal.  And with this I started Mcing at events and received invites to do motivational speaking.

Then I was on the radio, featured in a local newspaper and to top it all off in an international magazine on its way to Singapore.

I am filled with so much excitement because there is still so much more coming.

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In just 10 months my life made a complete 360 turn.

I am in absolute awe of Gods greatness and enjoying every minute of it.  This is what happens when you start stepping out of your comfort zone.

I have been obedient to my calling, and in doing so God has pushed me to do things that I never thought I would do.

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I have learnt that I am capable of anything.  And that if God wants to elevate me, nothing and no one will stop him.  If God is for you, then it doesn’t matter who is against you.  His will, will be done.

Remember that all things are possible, just step out of your comfort zone and exciting things will start to happen.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit Details:

Shoes:  Legit

Satin pants, top & earrings:  The Fix

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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My true strength came out of my struggle

I am in awe of God’s goodness and grace in my life.

Not too long ago I found myself in a pit, not being able to see the light.

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It felt like one bad thing was happening to me after another.

Stressing and struggling in silence, not being able to shout aloud like others because people were watching.

There were days that I had no idea where to go or what to do but God showed me the truth.

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When I was down and out, He placed angels in my life who helped me keep my head above water and for that I will forever be grateful.

Today, I stand here before you, full of love and light.

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In awe of how much my life has changed and how God has opened up so many doors for me to help encourage other women.

Every day He shows me that there is so much more to life and that I still have so much more to learn.

Being a blessing to others comes with it’s challenges but I am strong and God has shown me that my true strength lies in my struggles.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit Details:

Shoes & skirt: The Fix

T-shirt:  Y-Gen Apparel

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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In hard times, food was my comfort

For many years I tried to eat my pain away and food was my source of comfort.

I would punish myself and put myself in isolation, hiding myself from the world.  And using food to hide my pain.

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Eventually my pain started showing.  And the more it showed the more painful it became to look at myself in the mirror.

People would tell me I got fat but little did they know what I was dealing with.

They had no idea what it felt like to carry the weight of your pain, all over your body.

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For many, pain and heartache turns into depression.  Which later leads to isolation.

Enprisoning yourself because you want your pain to remain hidden.

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Internal suffering is dangerous.  If you don’t control it, it will spiral out of control.  And is the main reason why so many people turn to food, alcohol, drugs and sex.

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Not everyone is as strong as you think.  Many suffer for years in silence.  It’s only when a note is left behind and a life is taken that people will know the extent of their pain.

I was weak for many years, until the day I took a long look at myself in the mirror.  That day I took my life back.  And in doing so I found my strength and realised my self worth again.

Stay true to yourself

CandyKween

Outfit details:

Shoes and turtle neck:  The Fix

Jump Suit:  Legit

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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We focus so much on our pain that we fail to see the lesson

For years I always wondered why God put me through so many hard trials and tribulations.

Never understanding why but always recognising that there must be a reason for it.

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I questioned Him so many times asking things like, why me?  What did I do to deserve the pain?

But little did I know that my purpose was lying deep within it.

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We always question God, almost like we believe that He doesn’t know what He is doing.

There is always purpose in our pain.  We are just too blind to see it.

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Why?  Because we focus so much on our pain that we fail to see the lesson.

That’s why many of us find ourselves going through the same type of things over and over again.  Why?  Because we don’t want to listen.

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When we were younger, our parents told us if we don’t want to listen then we must feel.

And that’s exactly how God teaches us.  He lets us do what we want, but the moment we step out of line, there is consequences.

Consequences that we have to face due to the decisions that we make.

Everything happens for a reason.  Just make sure you learn the lesson.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit Details:

Shoes and skirt:  The Fix

Top:  Peyton Cole

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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Why men make women feel so cheap?

Because I am single, I have become more and more weary about the whole dating scene.

Why?  Because I have noticed that these days, men make the least amount of effort but expect the most amount of effort from you.

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My fellow sisters have now become more independent so some men take advantage of that.

If they can’t get what they want from you, they will move on to the next woman who is willing to give them exactly what they want.

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Here are a few things I have noticed:

They send you a DM, say one nice thing to you and then ask for your Watsapp contact.

DM’s and Watsapp messages have now become a conversation.

And Watsapp calling or a voice note has become a phone call.

My absolute favourite is,  send me a pic, instead of seeing you in person.

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Guys, what happened in the past 7 years, while I was in a relationship?  So much has changed, and it’s scary.

If this is what dating is all about, then I am sorry I will remain single.  I am way too old school for this new school type of crap.

It just really amazes me, the length’s some men will take to get what they want.

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Ladies, please take note.   Don’t allow these boys who call themselves men to use you to get what they want.  You are worth more than that.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit Details:

Earrings and boots:  The Fix

Skirt:  Mr Price

Crop top:  Peyton Cole

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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Women need to start empowering each other and stop breaking each other down

Are we still on school?

This is exactly what I think, every single time I see women tearing each other down.

Are we not grown?

If yes, then why are we still finding so many women out there bullying and breaking each other down openly on social media?

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PS.  Let this be known, just because you don’t mention someone’s name does not mean that you are not shading them in public.  Nobody is that daft or stupid, they know you talking about them.

My question is, can another women really bother you that much that her name needs to be in your mouth on a daily?

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It’s sickening, don’t you have anything better to do with your time?

If its not on social, it’s in the DM’s,  If its not in public then it’s in private.  Just stop!  If you spent less time and energy on thinking and speaking about someone else and start focusing on yourself, then maybe you will be further in life.

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We are not here on this earth to shade each other and break each other down.

We get enough of that from the opposite sex.  So stop wasting your time and energy on it.

Can’t we all just get along?

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Why can’t we as women support each other, be loyal to one another, have each other’s back’s and love and appreciate one another for who we are?

Is this really too much to ask?

There is absolutely no reason why we should be jealous of one another.

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There is enough space for everyone in this world to shine.  So stop trying to dim someone else’s light because they are trying to do something better with their life.

Stop looking at someone else’s life and start looking at your own.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit Details:

Entire outfit:  The Fix

Earrings:  Lovisa

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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Being single is a choice not a punishment

Being single to me, does not mean settling for what I can have, but rather choosing to wait for what I truly want and deserve.

For years all I ever wanted was to be loved by someone, so I ended up settling for men who didn’t deserve me.

Men who lied, cheated and mistreated me.

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It took many years of bad relationships and a divorce to make me realise and see my worth.

And that’s why I’m okay and content with being on my own.

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I value myself enough to know who I am and what I have to offer a man.

And, I also know what I want in a man and what I expect of him in return.

So many people don’t realise that a relationship is about give and take and if one person keeps taking and hardly gives you anything back in return then he isn’t worthy of your time.

If a man cannot see the value you add to his life then stop wasting your valuable time on him, let him go.

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There are millions of people that would rather settle for what they think they can get instead of waiting for what they truly want or deserve.

Why?  Because they are afraid or ashamed of being alone.

It’s okay to be alone.  There is nothing wrong with it.  It keeps you focused, driven and in control.

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And when the time comes, unexpectedly the right person will walk into your life without you even looking for him.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit details:  The Fix

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse

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Take back your life, you don’t belong in a box

For the longest time, society made me feel like I was trapped inside of a box.

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Always feeling that I needed to look a certain way, dress a certain way, act a certain way and hang with a certain crowd to feel like I fit in.

I know that many children today probably feel the same way.

Feeling pressured to keep up with the Joneses and put up some make believe reality just to be noticed or to feel like they fit in.

The problem I have with this is that sooner or later we get lost and fail to see who we are truly meant to be.

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I am so glad that I made the choice to be free.  Free from a box filled with people who pretend to be who they are not.  I made the choice to be me and only me.

I discovered a while back that even if people don’t  like me for me that it’s okay because my life is not dependent on who they think I am supposed to be but rather who I choose to be.

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I love the fact that I have natural hair.  That I have a curvy body and that I am confident and comfortable in my own skin.  I love that anything I choose to do or say is my choice and nobody else’s.

I have also learnt that 25% of people will genuinely like me and that 25% will not. That another 25% of people minds will be persuaded by others to like me and the other 25% will be persuaded to not.

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So in reality, no matter what we do in life, not everyone will like us and that’s okay.  Accept it and move on because it is a fact.

To me being free means choosing who I want to be and not allowing others to make me feel pressured to be somebody that I am not supposed to be.

I choose me, the funny, relatable and quirky me because that is who I am destined to be.

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Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit details:

Boots, coat and polo neck:  The Fix

Pants:  The Closet SA

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events