You are what you tolerate

For many years I have found myself jumping from one toxic relationship to another.

Never quite understanding why I kept finding myself in these kind of relationships and always questioning myself and thinking that there must be something wrong with me because every relationship I have ever been in has ended up in this way.

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For years I broke myself down by saying things to myself like I’m not pretty enough or that I am not skinny enough.  I made myself feel ugly and unworthy and allowed myself to believe that I would never ever find true love.  So I settled for what I could get.

The problem I had with settling was that I saw myself diminishing each time I dated someone else.  I became smaller and smaller each time I settled and ended up losing myself in the process.

I would always be the giver.  The giver of love and the giver of all of who I was.  And ended up losing myself.

I allowed myself to be used and to be treated in this way.

And quickly realised that I am becoming what I tolerate and I didn’t want to feel this way anymore.

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In my past, I cared too much about what other people is going to think or what other people are going to say.   I forgot about my pain and what made matters worse is I stayed in relationships much longer than I should have.

Sometimes we know the truth but we just don’t have the guts to make that decision to leave.

The sad thing is, when we are weak, the only time we allow ourselves to make a decision,  is when we are forced to.

And for many of us, it’s when we have reached our limit of pain and suffering and we just can’t take it anymore.

RoelseEvents-145I thank God everyday that I am no longer weak and that I have found strength in my years of pain.  I have learnt many painful lessons throughout my journey I call life but if it weren’t for those lessons I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Always remember that everyone deserves to be loved and that no one deserves to be used or made to believe that they are unworthy.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

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Outfit Details:

Boots, poloneck and fur coat:  The Fix

Leather skirt:  Legit

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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When your biggest challenge becomes your greatest victory

Meet Anthony Walters, a young, sexy, vibrant and hardworking student who is aspiring to become a top model.

RoelseEvents-171As a young adult Anthony was kicked out of his home on numerous occasions by his alcoholic step father.

Normally you would think children get kicked out of their homes for being disrespectful or being involved with drugs, but this wasn’t the case with Anthony Walters.

This 21 year old was just a dreamer.  He wanted to study, so that he would always have something to fall back on in case his plans didn’t work out for him.

But his Step father didn’t want to hear anything, he wanted him to give up his studies and go to work.  And of course Anthony refused because he didn’t want to become another statistic.

Imagine coming home one day and all your clothes is thrown in black bags, waiting for you to pick it up from the rubbish dump.  This is what happened to him and he ended up stranded outside his house with no place to go.

Things eventually spiralled so out of control that his uncle and aunt stepped in and decided to take him in.

Anthony then decided to stop procrastinating and used his last R200 to register himself at the Figures Finesse International Modelling Agency.

Both his parents weren’t working at that time and he was struggling to pay off his student loan.  So he spent his days washing cars and working as an extra at sin movies.

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He decided one day to take a chance and entered a modelling competition in Joburg.

Using the little money he made to chase after his dreams.

Anthony didn’t win but achieved top scorer in that competition.  So, he decided to enter again but got the exact same result.

He started feeling discouraged, maybe he wasn’t good enough or doesn’t have what it takes to become a model.  All he wanted to do was give up because it costed him so much money to fly to joburg and back and he was already at a point in his life where he was struggling.

So Anthony scraped together all he had and decided to enter one last time.  This time he entered the Model of the year SA competition.

It was go big or go home and to his surprise he made history and scored the highest score in Figure history in 36 years.

After achieving success in this competition he entered the IMTA South Africa competition.  He didn’t win but he walked away with two call backs.  One from World Top Models, Japan and the other from Fenton Model Management, New York.

Even though he didn’t win this competition, he still qualified to go overseas but unfortunately had to pay for this trip out of his own pocket and didn’t have the funds to go.

But now that he knows he has what it takes to become a top model he is still hoping to raise enough funds for him to walk the runways of New York or Japan one day.  So watch this space.

Anthony believes that if you work 80 to 100 hours a week, you can achieve your dream quicker than the average person who works regular hours and strives to achieve the same dream as you.

Anthony says that he will always remain humble and hungry on his journey to success.

He receives a lot of hate from young people, just because he is bold enough to run after his dream.  They make fun of him and bully him but he doesn’t let haters get in his way.  He continues each day to reach for his dreams and he encourages others out there to be bold enough to do the same.

I hope that Anthony’s story inspires you not to accept life as it is.

And to remember that success doesn’t happen overnight.  It takes hard work, discipline and commitment.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

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CandyKween Outfit details:

Boots, polo neck and Jacket:  The Fix

Tights:  Mr price Sports

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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Are you ready to become the next biggest loser of Cape Town?

Do you hate feeling sluggish, over weight, depressed and disappointed in yourself?
Are you tired of looking at yourself in the mirror, feeling sad because you don’t recognise the person staring back at you?
Do you want to take control of your life instead of your life taking control of you?
If this is you then the UBA 90 day wellness challenge is just for you.
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We here at Urban Beauty Academy know that losing weight can be a challenge.  We recognise that there are many people out there who would like to change their lifestyle but just don’t know how and where to start and we have decided to offer our help.
Losing weight starts in the mind first and if your mind is not right then your body won’t be right either.
The way the 90 day wellness challenge works is as follows:
The first 30-days of this challenge they will provide a team of professionals that will help you shift your mind to another level.  Once you have fixed your mind, everything else will fall into place.
Eating right is one of the most important factors when it comes to changing one’s lifestyle.  We are exposed to so many toxins on a daily basis and most of it comes from what we put in our mouths.  Many people don’t realise that if you eat unhealthy you become prone to illnesses like allergies, indigestion, weight gain, skin disorders, mood swings, depression, joint pain and insomnia.  So eating right is of utmost importance.
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During the second phase of this challenge, the team will help you come up with a healthy eating regime that you will have to follow.  Discipline is key when it comes to eating right and no one will be standing behind you to watch that you are eating properly, you will have to learn how to do this on your own.
In conjunction with the eating plan, you will also receive Roots and Raw juices that will be provided for you during the first month of your challenge.  These juices will help detoxify your body from any toxins it needs to get rid of, so it is important that you drink them regularly.
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Urban beauty academy will also be assisting you with 1 lymph drainage massage a month to help further drain all left over toxins in your body.  And as a added bonus, you will also receive a facial by DMK that will assist in removing all the dead skin cells from your face that will leave your face glowing for days during the period of your transformation.
To achieve your fitness levels, Urban Beauty Academy has teamed up with celebrity trainer Riaan Barnard and Planet fitness, Soneike in Kuils River.  Together they will help transform your body. You will be receiving 3 personal training sessions a week as well as one session with celebrity trainer Riaan Barnard.  How exciting is this?

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If you decide to take up this challenge today, you will be joining the other contestants on a 1 day retreat before the challenge officially starts.  This will help prepare your mind, body and soul for the 90 days you will be a part of this challenge.

This retreat offers you meditation, meal preps, a seminar as well as an opportunity to get to know the other contestants on board this challenge.  You will also have the opportunity to rub shoulders and get to know some of our local celebrity contestants who will also be taking part in this challenge.

You will enjoy a Yoga class once a week with a professional Yogi and she will show you how to effectively practice yoga and teach you how to meditate and detoxify your soul.

As an added incentive, the UBA 90 day wellness challenge together with it’s sponsors have decided to reward one contestant with the biggest transformation on this challenge with prizes to the value of R32500.
But that’s no all, they will also have the opportunity to bless an under privileged student from a previously disadvantaged background with the opportunity to study beauty at the Urban Beauty Academy.
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So what are you waiting for! Sign up now.
For further information you can click on the link I have provided below.
Entries close Friday 15 June 2018.  There are only a few spots left.
Stay true to yourself.
CandyKween

When your biggest failure becomes your greatest triumph

Meet Claudia Van Schalkwyk, successful business owner of Urban Beauty and founder and owner of the Urban Beauty Academy in Kuils River.

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At a very young age Claudia and her family moved from Mitchell’s plain to Kuils River. Their father who was a taxi owner at the time, thought it was best for them to move because it wasn’t very safe to raise 4 young girls there.

The move wasn’t easy for Claudia because it was in a time when apartheid was still very rife. At that time, the railway line divided Kuils river into the two areas, the “coloured area” and the “white area”.

It was an adjustment for her because they were the first coloured family to move into Jacaranda street in Kuils river. And on top of all that she now had to attend De Kuilen High School who was a predominantly white school at the time.

Just imagine what it would have felt like being the only person of colour on school.

I cannot even begin to comprehend how much fear was going on inside of her but she was a woman of great strength and she kept on going. She decided to make a statement and took both English and Afrikaans as a first language. At that time if you took both languages as first languages you were thought of as clever.

In 1995, Claudia was matric and by now she has made a bit of a name for herself already. She was chosen to be a cheerleader at the interschool athletics and was chosen to be Miss Personality. She became very popular amongst her peers but it quickly dawned upon her that it was time to decide what she wanted to do with her life and reality started kicking in.

In that same year Claudia’s sister the Late Leony Sonja De wee opened up a hairdresser in her parents garage. Of course, Claudia jumped at the opportunity to help out because it meant she would get some extra money and she became the shampoo girl.

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One day after washing one of the clients hair it dawned upon her that our eyebrows actually shape our face’s beautifully. Being the enthusiastic young women that she is, she started asking Leony’s clients if she could shape and clean their eyebrows for them. And just like that Claudia discovered her passion for beauty.

As the matric year slowly drew to an end, she started researching how much it would cost to go to beauty school and soon realised that her parents wouldn’t be able to afford it.

In 1995 the beauty industry was very expensive and not to mention that it was also predominantly white. She knew that there was no way she was going to beauty school but she didn’t let that stop her from getting what she wanted.

So we went to work at Spur in Kuils River. By that time she already started alienating herself from all of her friends, because she was too embarrassed to say that she couldn’t afford to go to college.

As time went by, Leony’s business started booming and because she had a good clientele it worked to Claudia’s advantage. So she started charging each client R5 to have their eyebrows done.

Claudia was determined to become a beauty therapist. She decided to do online courses on beauty and read day in and day out about beauty on the internet and in magazines. And on Saturday’s she tried out everything she learnt that week on her clients.

She quickly became very good at what she was doing so her late Dad built on a little beauty room for her inside her sister Leony’s salon.

Claudia became so hungry to experience the beauty industry so she decided to spread her wings and wanted to see what it would feel like to work in the “urban city”.

She went for her first interview and nailed it the first time round.

Knowing that she didn’t have a qualification in beauty at that time, she was determined to prove to the Salon Manager to let her do a treatment on one of the clients just to prove her worth and just like that she landed the job.

Getting an opportunity to work at a salon like this made her even more determined to become the top beauty therapist in the salon. She soon became the top therapist and then managed the salon for 5 years after that.

This was when she discovered her deep desire to open up her very own salon and she did so in Gardens, Cape Town. She named it, Bella Nova.

Claudia’s salon did so well that she was able to employ 4 permanent staff members within 3 months of her opening her business.

Sadly, due to fame and fortune, the wrong friends, drugs and alcohol, she lost her business.

Everything single thing that she had worked so hard for including the values her parents instilled in her went down the drain with it.

Angry and frustrated with herself for the decisions she has made in her life, she refused to accept the loss.

She was now more than ever, determined to start her business from scratch again.

So, she swallowed her pride and started taking on clients from home and soon started working from her home in town. Luckily for Claudia she had a good clientele and she was able to start over all over again.

She then decided to open up a beauty spa in the Waterfront and that is where she gave birth to the idea of opening up an academy and that was when she decided to move back home, back to Kuils River.

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Claudia with her students at the academy

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This is Bridgette Van Rooyen, PR and Marketing Manager of Urban Beauty. She is Claudia’s sister.

Claudia Van Schalkwyk is a phenomenal woman. Her passion, drive and determination paved the way to help other young women who can’t afford to study beauty.

This women is not only saved, but she loves the Lord with all of her heart. She gives all the glory to God because were it not for him she would not be the person she is today. His grace and mercy carried her through all of her failures and successes in her life and for that she is entirely grateful.

Claudia would like to thank her husband, Emile Van Schalkwyk who has been with her for the past 21 years. He has literally been with her through all the highs and all the lows throughout her career. He is also her own personal handy man who builds all of her décor for her business from scratch. Claudia says she feels so blessed. She would also like to thank her 2 children for always giving her so much love and support and for always having so much patience with her.

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This woman has proven that your circumstances do not define who you are.

In her lifetime, she has discovered that you are the maker and creator of your own destiny and it is up to you what you are going to do with it.

I hope that Claudia’s story inspires you today because if she can do it, then so can you.

Stay true to yourself

CandyKween

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Finding happiness

For the longest time I thought finding true happiness meant having a significant other in my life that will eventually make me happy.

And boy was I wrong.  I literally had to bump my head a few thousand times in my life before I realised that true happiness can only come from within.

I cannot depend on or expect someone else to make me happy because true happiness begins and ends with me and only me.

Many people don’t realise this, so they jump from one relationship to the next, trying to find that one thing everyone is searching for called happiness.

Happiness to me is not just a feeling, it is a choice.

It is a state of mind and you are in control of it.

You choose to be happy.  You choose to be sad.  Only you can choose to be negative or positive in your life and no one else can make that choice for you but you.

So stop looking for happiness on the outside and start looking for it within.  After all that’s where all our emotions begin.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

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Outfit details:

Shoes:  Vintage Mr Price

Dress, Bodysuit & Belt:  The Fix

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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Have an attitude of gratitude

How many of us are actually grateful for what we have in our lives?

How can we expect more, if we don’t appreciate the things we already have?

This past month I have really focused on having a attitude of gratitude and it has truly changed my life.

Every morning instead of checking my phone, I start my day off by just saying thank you.

Thank you for this new day. Thank you that I am alive, healthy and mobile. Thank you for all the opportunities that I have received and thank you for all the opportunities that is still coming my way this day. Thank you for my beautiful daughter, thank you that I am loved and thank you that I am so blessed.

Doing this every morning has helped me find joy again and it helped me realise how blessed I really am.

You see, I came to a point in my life, where I lost everything I worked so hard to achieve in my life and I had to start rebuilding everything from scratch. Why? Because I am not someone that hangs onto material things. I let it go because I believe you have to get rid of the old to make way for the new.

I trusted God fully throughout the process and He carried me through.

Don’t wait until you lose everything to become grateful. Choose to become more grateful everyday and if you do, you will start seeing the blessings come your way.

Stay true yourself.

CandyKween

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Outfit details:

Shoes, belt & glasses: The Fix

2 piece set: Designed by Peyton Cole purchased through Luscious by Lauren

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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Don’t compare, be unique

There are so many women out there, who wake up every morning and look at themselves in the mirror feeling shy and ashamed of the way they look.

When they go out, they are constantly comparing themselves with their girlfriends or the people they meet and eventually they start feeling insecure.

Every time they go out, they have less fun and become more withdrawn because they are so focused on trying to be like someone else.

Many people don’t realise that by continuously comparing themselves to other people, they are breaking themselves down.  And by doing that they open up feelings of self-doubt, insecurity, low self-esteem and lack of self confidence.

Nobody should feel that way about themselves because we are all beautiful!

Stop comparing yourself to someone else.  Instead find things about yourself that you love and celebrate them.

We were all created to be different and it is that very thing that makes us so special and unique.

One thing that I have realised on my journey to self discovery, is that if I don’t like something about myself, only I have the power to change it.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

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Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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Give yourself a lift

Look around and tell me how many women you see around you wearing the correct size bra?

For many women a bra is just a bra. Something they wear underneath their clothes to hold everything together.

Unfortunately that is where most women make their mistake.

A bra isn’t just a bra. If you wear the correct size bra it can make a huge difference. You appear to be more slimmer, you feel more confident and most importantly you feel more comfortable.

I am sure that many women can relate when I say that there is nothing more uncomfortable, than a bra that is too tight or too loose on your body. Not only is it a huge distraction but it becomes an irritation throughout the day if you have to keep adjusting it all the time.

If your breasts are sagging down to your stomach and you are wearing a bra, that is usually a sign that your bra is too big. And if your breasts are popping out on the sides or on the top, then this means your bra is too small.

If you don’t know your bra size, go to your nearest underwear department and ask them to measure your bust. Don’t be afraid to ask, they won’t bite. They are there to assist you.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

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Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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We don’t compete, we empower!

When are people going to learn that their purpose in life, is not a competition?

We all have our own gifts and talents, so there really is no need for us to compete.

When I see my friends flourish, I am genuinely happy for them.

I appreciate the fact that they always keep me on my toes and make me hungry to want more out of life.

Without them even knowing it, they challenge me to set the bar higher for myself each and every year.  They help me see and believe that all things are possible.

It feels so good not to compete against each other! And it feels even better when we work together!

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Instead of tearing each other down, we choose to lift each other up.  If we can do this, then so can you.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

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Outfit Details:

Candashiancpt:

Bodysuit and Skirt:  Mr Price

Shoes:  The Fix

CandyKween:

Boots:  Luscious by Lauren

Dress:  The Closet Sa

Earrings:  Lovisa

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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Be grateful for what you have because it can be taken away from you in an instant

As parents we can’t always give our children everything.

In my house, money most definitely doesn’t grow on trees.  And at times it’s not always easy to decide what is important and what is not, but the decisions have to be made.

There are many parents out there who are single and don’t receive support from the other parent.  These parents are forced to do things on their own not because they want to but because that is the situation they find themselves in.

There are some household’s where there is only one parent working and in others there are none.  This is the reality we as parents live in today.

We all want what’s best for our children but we can’t always give them everything they want.  It’s hard to admit it but it’s the truth.

That’s why it’s so important to teach our children values.  Things that they can use as guidelines when they get older.

We should teach them not to look down others because just because they don’t have and that having gratitude is everything.

It is so important to be grateful for the things you have because in an instant it can be taken away from you.  So many times things like death, divorce, separation, an accident, a loss of a job, retrenchment etc. can change people’s lives in an instant.  They didn’t ask for it to happen, it just happened.

If I look at my own life, my daughter and I had everything and in an instant all that was taken away.  And not because we asked for it but because of circumstances that was out of our control.

There are so many children out there who’s parents are able to give them everything and because of this they develop a brat mentality.

They look down on others and start calling them out for not having things.  Things don’t make a person but having a good heart does.

Know that just because you don’t have the same things others do doesn’t make you less than a human being.  You are worth more than material things.

Material things don’t define who you are, but the way you treat others will define the person you will become.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

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Outfit Details:

Shoes & Bag: Foschini

Shorts & Top:  The Fix

Choker & Sunglasses:  Luscious by Lauren

Jewellery:  Lovisa

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse From Roelse Events

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