We focus so much on our pain that we fail to see the lesson

For years I always wondered why God put me through so many hard trials and tribulations.

Never understanding why but always recognising that there must be a reason for it.

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I questioned Him so many times asking things like, why me?  What did I do to deserve the pain?

But little did I know that my purpose was lying deep within it.

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We always question God, almost like we believe that He doesn’t know what He is doing.

There is always purpose in our pain.  We are just too blind to see it.

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Why?  Because we focus so much on our pain that we fail to see the lesson.

That’s why many of us find ourselves going through the same type of things over and over again.  Why?  Because we don’t want to listen.

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When we were younger, our parents told us if we don’t want to listen then we must feel.

And that’s exactly how God teaches us.  He lets us do what we want, but the moment we step out of line, there is consequences.

Consequences that we have to face due to the decisions that we make.

Everything happens for a reason.  Just make sure you learn the lesson.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit Details:

Shoes and skirt:  The Fix

Top:  Peyton Cole

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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Why men make women feel so cheap?

Because I am single, I have become more and more weary about the whole dating scene.

Why?  Because I have noticed that these days, men make the least amount of effort but expect the most amount of effort from you.

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My fellow sisters have now become more independent so some men take advantage of that.

If they can’t get what they want from you, they will move on to the next woman who is willing to give them exactly what they want.

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Here are a few things I have noticed:

They send you a DM, say one nice thing to you and then ask for your Watsapp contact.

DM’s and Watsapp messages have now become a conversation.

And Watsapp calling or a voice note has become a phone call.

My absolute favourite is,  send me a pic, instead of seeing you in person.

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Guys, what happened in the past 7 years, while I was in a relationship?  So much has changed, and it’s scary.

If this is what dating is all about, then I am sorry I will remain single.  I am way too old school for this new school type of crap.

It just really amazes me, the length’s some men will take to get what they want.

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Ladies, please take note.   Don’t allow these boys who call themselves men to use you to get what they want.  You are worth more than that.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit Details:

Earrings and boots:  The Fix

Skirt:  Mr Price

Crop top:  Peyton Cole

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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Women need to start empowering each other and stop breaking each other down

Are we still on school?

This is exactly what I think, every single time I see women tearing each other down.

Are we not grown?

If yes, then why are we still finding so many women out there bullying and breaking each other down openly on social media?

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PS.  Let this be known, just because you don’t mention someone’s name does not mean that you are not shading them in public.  Nobody is that daft or stupid, they know you talking about them.

My question is, can another women really bother you that much that her name needs to be in your mouth on a daily?

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It’s sickening, don’t you have anything better to do with your time?

If its not on social, it’s in the DM’s,  If its not in public then it’s in private.  Just stop!  If you spent less time and energy on thinking and speaking about someone else and start focusing on yourself, then maybe you will be further in life.

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We are not here on this earth to shade each other and break each other down.

We get enough of that from the opposite sex.  So stop wasting your time and energy on it.

Can’t we all just get along?

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Why can’t we as women support each other, be loyal to one another, have each other’s back’s and love and appreciate one another for who we are?

Is this really too much to ask?

There is absolutely no reason why we should be jealous of one another.

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There is enough space for everyone in this world to shine.  So stop trying to dim someone else’s light because they are trying to do something better with their life.

Stop looking at someone else’s life and start looking at your own.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit Details:

Entire outfit:  The Fix

Earrings:  Lovisa

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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Being single is a choice not a punishment

Being single to me, does not mean settling for what I can have, but rather choosing to wait for what I truly want and deserve.

For years all I ever wanted was to be loved by someone, so I ended up settling for men who didn’t deserve me.

Men who lied, cheated and mistreated me.

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It took many years of bad relationships and a divorce to make me realise and see my worth.

And that’s why I’m okay and content with being on my own.

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I value myself enough to know who I am and what I have to offer a man.

And, I also know what I want in a man and what I expect of him in return.

So many people don’t realise that a relationship is about give and take and if one person keeps taking and hardly gives you anything back in return then he isn’t worthy of your time.

If a man cannot see the value you add to his life then stop wasting your valuable time on him, let him go.

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There are millions of people that would rather settle for what they think they can get instead of waiting for what they truly want or deserve.

Why?  Because they are afraid or ashamed of being alone.

It’s okay to be alone.  There is nothing wrong with it.  It keeps you focused, driven and in control.

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And when the time comes, unexpectedly the right person will walk into your life without you even looking for him.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit details:  The Fix

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse

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Take back your life, you don’t belong in a box

For the longest time, society made me feel like I was trapped inside of a box.

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Always feeling that I needed to look a certain way, dress a certain way, act a certain way and hang with a certain crowd to feel like I fit in.

I know that many children today probably feel the same way.

Feeling pressured to keep up with the Joneses and put up some make believe reality just to be noticed or to feel like they fit in.

The problem I have with this is that sooner or later we get lost and fail to see who we are truly meant to be.

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I am so glad that I made the choice to be free.  Free from a box filled with people who pretend to be who they are not.  I made the choice to be me and only me.

I discovered a while back that even if people don’t  like me for me that it’s okay because my life is not dependent on who they think I am supposed to be but rather who I choose to be.

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I love the fact that I have natural hair.  That I have a curvy body and that I am confident and comfortable in my own skin.  I love that anything I choose to do or say is my choice and nobody else’s.

I have also learnt that 25% of people will genuinely like me and that 25% will not. That another 25% of people minds will be persuaded by others to like me and the other 25% will be persuaded to not.

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So in reality, no matter what we do in life, not everyone will like us and that’s okay.  Accept it and move on because it is a fact.

To me being free means choosing who I want to be and not allowing others to make me feel pressured to be somebody that I am not supposed to be.

I choose me, the funny, relatable and quirky me because that is who I am destined to be.

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Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Outfit details:

Boots, coat and polo neck:  The Fix

Pants:  The Closet SA

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

 

 

Finally we found a lifestyle that works for us

For many years Rika has struggled with her weight.

After her divorce from her husband of 18 years it became worse and her weight completely spiralled out of control.

She started eating and drinking as a means of comfort because she couldn’t deal with the pain anymore.

This led to her gaining weight and within 6 months Rika weighed 100kg.

Like most of us, she has tried everything from the 28 day diet, Herbalife, diet pills, Banting and the list goes on but nothing seemed to work.

What she means by this is that she would lose weight but as soon as she stopped doing it, she would pick up all that weight again.

We all know that diets these day have become so expensive. Not everyone can afford it anymore that’s why for most people it becomes difficult to sustain it for a long period of time.

One day Rika came across the 90 day wellness challenge hosted by Urban Beauty Academy and decided to try it.

This time she decided not to do it alone, she decided to share the challenge with her new found love Johan. Yes, she found love again and they are now married.

Isn’t that amazing?

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Taking on this journey together has been amazing for them and they are loving their new lifestyle.

Living a mucous free (meat free) lifestyle is nothing like they ever imagined. They genuinely thought it would be hard but instead the food is affordable, it’s delicious, they have more energy and they feel more healthy than they ever did before.

The bonus is that Johan has also now halved his intake of his hypertension medication and Rika has halved her intake of antidepressants as well.

Both Rika and Johan are on day 53 of the 90 day wellness challenge and have lost 30kg between the two of them.

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They have both decided to continue to live this lifestyle for many years to come as this programme has given them so much knowledge and has taught them so much about themselves. This lifestyle is affordable for them and is a much easier alternative to the fad diets out there.

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Rika and Johan would like to thank Claudia, Bridgette, Alexandra, Alex and all the contestants and trainers involved in the 90 day wellness programme for helping them come this far. Their journey doesn’t end here, there is much more to come.

I hope their story inspires you.

If you are interested in joining this 90 day wellness programme, there will be a wellness day held on the 15th of September where the entire season 2 will be explained and launched.

The winner of season 1’s biggest loser will also be announced on that day. So you guys are in for a treat.

For more information click on the link below:

http://www.uba90daywellnesschallenge.co.za/index.php/retreat/

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

Greatness is determined by service not by fame

So many people think that fame determines your success but it doesn’t.

Serving others is what makes you stand out.

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We weren’t put on this earth to be self serving.  We were put on this earth to serve others.

Whether it be by serving with our hands, our mouths, our creativity, our talents and gifts or our ideas.

That is what we are here to do.

If you really want to achieve great success in life, find out what the significance is in what you have to offer the world.

The best place to start is by being yourself and figuring out what you most passionate about.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

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Outfit details:

Boots: The Closet SA

Blazer & Polo neck:  The Fix

Earrings:  Lovisa

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

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You are what you tolerate

For many years I have found myself jumping from one toxic relationship to another.

Never quite understanding why I kept finding myself in these kind of relationships and always questioning myself and thinking that there must be something wrong with me because every relationship I have ever been in has ended up in this way.

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For years I broke myself down by saying things to myself like I’m not pretty enough or that I am not skinny enough.  I made myself feel ugly and unworthy and allowed myself to believe that I would never ever find true love.  So I settled for what I could get.

The problem I had with settling was that I saw myself diminishing each time I dated someone else.  I became smaller and smaller each time I settled and ended up losing myself in the process.

I would always be the giver.  The giver of love and the giver of all of who I was.  And ended up losing myself.

I allowed myself to be used and to be treated in this way.

And quickly realised that I am becoming what I tolerate and I didn’t want to feel this way anymore.

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In my past, I cared too much about what other people is going to think or what other people are going to say.   I forgot about my pain and what made matters worse is I stayed in relationships much longer than I should have.

Sometimes we know the truth but we just don’t have the guts to make that decision to leave.

The sad thing is, when we are weak, the only time we allow ourselves to make a decision,  is when we are forced to.

And for many of us, it’s when we have reached our limit of pain and suffering and we just can’t take it anymore.

RoelseEvents-145I thank God everyday that I am no longer weak and that I have found strength in my years of pain.  I have learnt many painful lessons throughout my journey I call life but if it weren’t for those lessons I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Always remember that everyone deserves to be loved and that no one deserves to be used or made to believe that they are unworthy.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

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Outfit Details:

Boots, poloneck and fur coat:  The Fix

Leather skirt:  Legit

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

 

When your biggest challenge becomes your greatest victory

Meet Anthony Walters, a young, sexy, vibrant and hardworking student who is aspiring to become a top model.

RoelseEvents-171As a young adult Anthony was kicked out of his home on numerous occasions by his alcoholic step father.

Normally you would think children get kicked out of their homes for being disrespectful or being involved with drugs, but this wasn’t the case with Anthony Walters.

This 21 year old was just a dreamer.  He wanted to study, so that he would always have something to fall back on in case his plans didn’t work out for him.

But his Step father didn’t want to hear anything, he wanted him to give up his studies and go to work.  And of course Anthony refused because he didn’t want to become another statistic.

Imagine coming home one day and all your clothes is thrown in black bags, waiting for you to pick it up from the rubbish dump.  This is what happened to him and he ended up stranded outside his house with no place to go.

Things eventually spiralled so out of control that his uncle and aunt stepped in and decided to take him in.

Anthony then decided to stop procrastinating and used his last R200 to register himself at the Figures Finesse International Modelling Agency.

Both his parents weren’t working at that time and he was struggling to pay off his student loan.  So he spent his days washing cars and working as an extra at sin movies.

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He decided one day to take a chance and entered a modelling competition in Joburg.

Using the little money he made to chase after his dreams.

Anthony didn’t win but achieved top scorer in that competition.  So, he decided to enter again but got the exact same result.

He started feeling discouraged, maybe he wasn’t good enough or doesn’t have what it takes to become a model.  All he wanted to do was give up because it costed him so much money to fly to joburg and back and he was already at a point in his life where he was struggling.

So Anthony scraped together all he had and decided to enter one last time.  This time he entered the Model of the year SA competition.

It was go big or go home and to his surprise he made history and scored the highest score in Figure history in 36 years.

After achieving success in this competition he entered the IMTA South Africa competition.  He didn’t win but he walked away with two call backs.  One from World Top Models, Japan and the other from Fenton Model Management, New York.

Even though he didn’t win this competition, he still qualified to go overseas but unfortunately had to pay for this trip out of his own pocket and didn’t have the funds to go.

But now that he knows he has what it takes to become a top model he is still hoping to raise enough funds for him to walk the runways of New York or Japan one day.  So watch this space.

Anthony believes that if you work 80 to 100 hours a week, you can achieve your dream quicker than the average person who works regular hours and strives to achieve the same dream as you.

Anthony says that he will always remain humble and hungry on his journey to success.

He receives a lot of hate from young people, just because he is bold enough to run after his dream.  They make fun of him and bully him but he doesn’t let haters get in his way.  He continues each day to reach for his dreams and he encourages others out there to be bold enough to do the same.

I hope that Anthony’s story inspires you not to accept life as it is.

And to remember that success doesn’t happen overnight.  It takes hard work, discipline and commitment.

Stay true to yourself.

CandyKween

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CandyKween Outfit details:

Boots, polo neck and Jacket:  The Fix

Tights:  Mr price Sports

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

 

Are you ready to become the next biggest loser of Cape Town?

Do you hate feeling sluggish, over weight, depressed and disappointed in yourself?
Are you tired of looking at yourself in the mirror, feeling sad because you don’t recognise the person staring back at you?
Do you want to take control of your life instead of your life taking control of you?
If this is you then the UBA 90 day wellness challenge is just for you.
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We here at Urban Beauty Academy know that losing weight can be a challenge.  We recognise that there are many people out there who would like to change their lifestyle but just don’t know how and where to start and we have decided to offer our help.
Losing weight starts in the mind first and if your mind is not right then your body won’t be right either.
The way the 90 day wellness challenge works is as follows:
The first 30-days of this challenge they will provide a team of professionals that will help you shift your mind to another level.  Once you have fixed your mind, everything else will fall into place.
Eating right is one of the most important factors when it comes to changing one’s lifestyle.  We are exposed to so many toxins on a daily basis and most of it comes from what we put in our mouths.  Many people don’t realise that if you eat unhealthy you become prone to illnesses like allergies, indigestion, weight gain, skin disorders, mood swings, depression, joint pain and insomnia.  So eating right is of utmost importance.
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During the second phase of this challenge, the team will help you come up with a healthy eating regime that you will have to follow.  Discipline is key when it comes to eating right and no one will be standing behind you to watch that you are eating properly, you will have to learn how to do this on your own.
In conjunction with the eating plan, you will also receive Roots and Raw juices that will be provided for you during the first month of your challenge.  These juices will help detoxify your body from any toxins it needs to get rid of, so it is important that you drink them regularly.
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Urban beauty academy will also be assisting you with 1 lymph drainage massage a month to help further drain all left over toxins in your body.  And as a added bonus, you will also receive a facial by DMK that will assist in removing all the dead skin cells from your face that will leave your face glowing for days during the period of your transformation.
To achieve your fitness levels, Urban Beauty Academy has teamed up with celebrity trainer Riaan Barnard and Planet fitness, Soneike in Kuils River.  Together they will help transform your body. You will be receiving 3 personal training sessions a week as well as one session with celebrity trainer Riaan Barnard.  How exciting is this?

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If you decide to take up this challenge today, you will be joining the other contestants on a 1 day retreat before the challenge officially starts.  This will help prepare your mind, body and soul for the 90 days you will be a part of this challenge.

This retreat offers you meditation, meal preps, a seminar as well as an opportunity to get to know the other contestants on board this challenge.  You will also have the opportunity to rub shoulders and get to know some of our local celebrity contestants who will also be taking part in this challenge.

You will enjoy a Yoga class once a week with a professional Yogi and she will show you how to effectively practice yoga and teach you how to meditate and detoxify your soul.

As an added incentive, the UBA 90 day wellness challenge together with it’s sponsors have decided to reward one contestant with the biggest transformation on this challenge with prizes to the value of R32500.
But that’s no all, they will also have the opportunity to bless an under privileged student from a previously disadvantaged background with the opportunity to study beauty at the Urban Beauty Academy.
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So what are you waiting for! Sign up now.
For further information you can click on the link I have provided below.
Entries close Friday 15 June 2018.  There are only a few spots left.
Stay true to yourself.
CandyKween