It’s time for women to take back the power

For many years, I have seen women carrying their pain in silence and for the longest time I was one of them.

I chose to keep my scars hidden so that nobody could see my pain but secretly those scars were killing me on the inside.

I have found that people tend to focus so much of their energy on finding healing on the outside that they forget that true healing can only take place from the inside.

Each day we stand up feeling helpless. That feeling of continuous pain and heartache just doesn’t want to go away. It eats at us day after day after day, until we finally find alternative ways that will take those feelings away.

Many women find healing in drugs, alcohol, sex (to feel loved for a moment), and even cutting (self harm) etc. and others just can’t deal with the pain anymore so they choose to quit at life and take their lives instead.

Today, I come to you and I urge you to take back the power.

The power is yours and no one else’s. It is time for you to speak your truth and to stop being a prisoner of your own thoughts and feelings. It is time to tell your story so that you can be freed from your emotions.  It is time to let go.

Did anyone ever tell you that your strength lies in your testimony?

I always say that your testimony is like a wound that you have kept covered for far too long. Now that it is open it will finally get a chance to breath.  Once the scab is formed, it falls off and then healing can take place when the scar is formed.

Your scars tells a story. It is part of who you are.

Help us, to help you make a difference in someone else’s life. Share your story. There are so many people out there, who are going through the same things that you have already been through and now you have the power to help them get through it.

We are starting a movement called take back the power. Where we want women of all walks of life to stand up, speak out and take back the power.

We are busy creating a platform for women to start sharing their stories to help encourage others.

Over the next few weeks we are starting a big production and would like you to be a part of it. We are shooting a music video, which will be the anthem of this movement and we will need your help to make this happen.

In the music video we will be focusing on the following topics:

  • Bullying
  • Emotional/Verbal/Physical Abuse
  • Body Shaming
  • Racism
  • Gender Inequality
  • Single mom – struggles
  • If you were ever cheated on

So if you are a woman or a transgender who resides in Cape Town and you have dealt with issues like these in your life, please send us your stories. It is very important to us that people know they are not alone.

If your story is chosen, you will not only be featured in this music video but your full length interview will be featured on another platform that I will be launching soon.

We are also looking for student actors and actresses to come in for auditions for the music video. This is not a paid gig but it will give you some exposure. If you are interested or know someone who might be then please share this post with them.

We are also looking to collaborate with make up artists for the production of this shoot. Unfortunately like I mentioned earlier, this is not a paid gig. You and your work will be featured in this video so you will be able to use it as part of your portfolio.

Lastly, we would like to invite all women, young and old to be part of this movement. Come out in your numbers on the last day of our production and we will feature you at the end of the video.

This movement is meant to empower women. So come out and support the movement.

Let us stop hating on one another and let us come together in unity to support one another in our times of struggle.

If you have been through things in your life that was meant to destroy you then this is your opportunity to stand together with other women who are just like you.

This is your time to stand up, speak out and take back the power.

You can send all your stories to destinyunlockedblog@gmail.com.

We are so excited to start this movement and cannot wait to hear from you.

We will be sending out all the information regarding the auditions for the shoot and when the shoot days will be taking place during the course of this week, so keep your eyes peeled for it.

Please join our movement.

#Standup #Speakout #Takebackthepower

Stay true to yourself.

The CandyKween

Outfit details:

Shoes:  The Fix

Dress:  Mr Price

Belt:  Chinese Shop

Choker:  Luscious by Lauren

Sunglasses:  The Haute Accessory

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

 

Separation: My long walk to freedom

For those of you who think marriage is easy, let me tell you it isn’t.

Marriage takes hard work and a lot of sacrifice.

It cannot and will not survive if both partners are not fully invested in it.

Marriage comes with a lot of obstacles. There are things like alcohol and drug abuse, lying, infidelity, verbal, emotional or physical abuse, financial problems, and secrets etc. that can and will destroy your marriage if one or both parties are unhappy.

People need to be honest with themselves and recognise when there are problems in their marriage.  You cannot ignore the signs and remain unhappy when it is clearly there.

If both parties are not willing to make it work, then it’s time to open up your eyes, cut your losses and walk away because you cannot make it work on your own.

Personally, I have realised that you cannot force a marriage to work if it doesn’t.  It only prolongs the inevitable and it ends up making the situation worse especially if there are children involved.

For those of you who didn’t know that I am married, yes I am.

Out of respect for my marriage and my belief that one shouldn’t speak about things until it’s done, I chose to remain silent about this topic and never spoke about it.

There are a select few that know and obviously those who have inboxed me and asked me about it also know.

It’s been a year since our separation and it feels like this divorce is never going to happen.

This year has been a tough one for both me and my daughter but in the midst of the struggle I remained strong.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and that every season has a beginning and an end.

And at this point in my life all I can do is remain calm, have faith and be hopeful that this chapter of my life will soon come to an end.

Stay true to yourself.

The CandyKween

Outfit Details:

Shoes:  Legit

Dress:  TC design

Waist Trainer belt:  Chinese Shop

Jacket:  Legit

Chokers:  Both from Shop Brett Robson

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events Photography

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

 

When passion meets purpose

Have you ever looked at your life and wondered am I where I want to be in life?

Do I love what I do and am I passionate about it?

And most importantly am I happy with where life is taking me?

About a year ago, I realised that what I thought I wanted in my life was no longer as important as what I want in my life today.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be here today, creating a platform for myself to share my deepest thoughts, my innermost feelings, my life’s journey or my testimony for the whole world to see.

To be honest, I never thought that I had it in me to make myself so vulnerable, just so that I can try to make a difference in someone else’s life.

When I was younger I always envisioned myself with a suit and a briefcase. I never really knew what I wanted to become but I knew that one day that is where I wanted to be.

Today my hopes, dreams and goals have shifted far beyond my control. My life’s purpose has changed and has become far greater than just a job.

I am no longer ashamed of what people think of me. I am not perfect and my life is far from it. In many ways I am just like you.

The only difference is that I have found my purpose in life and you still have to find yours.

For many years I felt that burning urge deep within my soul to uplift women.  In more ways than one I felt that I could relate to women who have endured pain and suffering in  their lives and that’s why I decided to share my experiences with others.

It is of great importance to me that I live a life of substance where I am able to make a difference in people’s lives.

My passion runs deeper than my pockets. It is who I am.

I pray that one day you will find what truly makes you happy and that you will not be afraid to chase after it.  I hope that you will learn to embrace the change that comes with it and most importantly that you will run with it as far as you can without the fear of ever losing it.

Remember that while making a lot of money is great, living a life of fulfillment and making a difference in others lives is even greater.

Stay true to yourself.

The CanDKween

Outfit Details:

Shoes:  The Fix

Pants:  Legit (vintage)

Bodysuit:  The Fix

Camisole:  The Fix

Necklace:  Guess (gift)

Choker:  Mr price

Fluffy Coat:  The Fix

Glasses:  The Haute Accessory

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse of Roelse Events

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Embracing your curves

Size doesn’t determine your sexiness.

Every woman is sexy in her own right.  No matter her size, shape or form.

It is in the manner which she chooses to carry herself that makes her more appealing to others.

Embracing your curves means accepting yourself for who you are and being comfortable in your own skin.

It is about understanding your body and finding out which clothes work for you and which doesn’t.

It is about making sure you wear the correct bra size because it helps you with your posture and it gives you a bit of a lift.

I have learnt that wearing clothes that fit is of utmost importance.  I cannot stress this enough.

There is nothing more uncomfortable than wearing something that is sizes too small for you.  All this does is make you look and feel bigger than you actually are.

Remember that self confidence is key.  The way that you carry yourself says everything about you.

I am a fuller figure woman.  I know what works on my body and what doesn’t.  I work out not only to keep fit but to stay toned. I am not on a diet, I try to eat healthy as much as I can but I still eat what I want in moderation.

I simply refuse to starve myself because to me that is not healthy.

My motto in life has always been its not what you wear, it is the way you wear it. You can wear anything you want. Just make sure it fits and that you feel comfortable and confident in it.

Sexiness comes in all shapes and sizes.   It is high time society starts realising it.

Stay true to yourself.

CanDKween

Outfit details:

Boots:  The Fix

Jegging:  The Fix

Coat:  Vintage

Top:  Mr Price

Bra:  Wonder Bra bought at La Senza

Choker:  Shop Brett Robson

Sunglasses:  Spitfire

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

 

This is dedicated to every woman who has ever gone through bad times in her life

You are a phenomenal woman
A warrior of faith
Who wears her armour daily

When the storms are raging
You rise up
And plant your feet solid on the ground

You refuse to be moved or shaken
For you know that the battle is not yours
It belongs to the Lord

When things are meant to destroy you
You stand your ground

Because you know
That your Father in Heaven
Will never leave you nor forsake you

You are a woman of great strength
Every scar that you carry
Tells a great story

A story of who you were
And a story of who you have become

You are a warrior
Who wears her scars proudly
For every battle she has ever won

Today I am here to remind every woman of her battle scars.

These scars are proof of the warrior you have become.

Always stay true to yourself.

The CanDKween

Outfit Details:

Boots:  Foschini

Skirt:  The Fix

Bodysuit:  The Fix

Scarf:  Vintage

Sunglasses:  The Haute Accessory

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

 

Baby come and light my fire

I remember when we first met; I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you.

You looked at me with such excitement and such joy.  You couldn’t keep your hands off of me.  Grabbing me and holding me close to your heart.

Your feet playfully touching mine as I sat down. Sitting next to me, your hands kept touching mine.

Palms sweaty as our fingers intertwined.

Your hands touching my thigh as I playfully push it away. It was time for you to go so you asked me for a kiss.

We leaned in as our lips gently touched. I cut it short as I pushed you away with a smile.

My heart yearning for more but my head was telling me to wait.

As you left you pushed me against the door, kissing me passionately.

You held me so tight like you didn’t want that moment to end. You looked at me with love in your eyes as you said your last goodbye.

I couldn’t stop thinking about you. That moment we first kissed. It felt special, it felt like love.

Many of us forget the feelings we once had for one other when we first met.

Sometimes when you have been with someone for a very long time, that spark has a tendency of going away. Why? Life happens that’s why.

You become tired and lazy because you have kids and responsibilities. You find yourself constantly arguing over stupid things and before you know it you don’t even bother trying anymore.

If you are starting to do this, you are treading on dangerous territory.

My advice to you is to do everything you can to keep that spark alive.

Be more adventurous and be open to trying new things. Stop being lazy and try to do things differently. Take note of what your partner likes and doesn’t like.

And most important of all don’t lose that connection with one another because once it’s gone; you will never get it back.

Stay true to yourself.

CanD

Outfit Details:

Boots:  The Fix

Jegging:  The Fix

Bodysuit:  The Fix

Choker:  Luscious by Lauren

Fluffy coat:  The Fix

Glasses:  The Haute Accessory

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse of Roelse Events

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Need a Lift?

Hello my Queens,

If you ever want to give your lashes that ultimate lift, the Revlon Ultimate All-in-one Mascara will do the trick.

I have been using this mascara for months now and I absolutely cannot go anywhere without it.

First I have to speak about the packaging.

It’s different from all the other mascara’s on the market. The shape of the packaging is very bold and unique and I think that Revlon has done a wonderful job by finding a way for it to stand out.

The first thing I noticed upon opening the mascara was how different the bristles were.

The brush itself has a hollow core and the bristles are quite small, which I must admit made me a bit sceptical at first.

To my surprise, those small bristles applied the mascara to my lashes so smoothly without any hassles and without picking up too much product, which normally causes smudging.

It also helped separate my lashes beautifully and gave it so much more volume, length and definition.

Ladies, you will be happy to know that the Revlon Ultimate All-in-one Mascara dries very quickly.

Everyone knows there is nothing worse than redoing your make up just because your mascara smudged, especially when you are in a hurry.

Personally, I think this gives every woman that extra bit of confidence they need when applying their make up.

What I love about this mascara is that it curls my lashes beautifully without having to make use of an eyelash curler. It gives me that extra lift that I need and it gives my lashes new life.

I know that there are many ladies out there who struggle with finding mascara that gives them volume, length, definition and a lift and if this is you the Revlon Ultimate All-in-one Mascara was made just for you.

Stay true to yourself,

CanDchris

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Invisible storms

Some of the toughest storms that we face in life are the ones that no one can see.

Just because we get up every morning, groom ourselves well and go about our daily business with a smile, does not mean we don’t go through any storms in our lives.

Many of us are so good at masking our storms that we smile and fake it just so that other people can’t see our pain.

This is not healthy because it steals our sense of relief.

Opening up and speaking to someone we can trust, gives us that form of release that we need to deal with whatever it is we are going through at the moment. Even just knowing that we are not alone gives us the strength that we need to be able to go on.

So many people assume that how things look on the outside is how we really feel on the inside and that is the furthest thing from the truth.

Stay true to yourself.

CanD

CanD:

Boots:  Shoe City Vintage

Jegging:  The Fix

Shirt:  Vintage

Fluffy Coat:  The Fix

Earrings:  Luscious by Lauren

Sunglasses:  Legit

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse of  Roelse Events

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Keep your dreams silent

Have you ever heard the saying, don’t tell everyone your dreams?

Unfortunately, there are some people in this world who cannot stand seeing others making their dreams a reality.

Not everyone is going to be for you in this lifetime, there will always be someone who will be against you. That unfortunately is how life works.

Many of us seem to think that if people have dreams and they make more effort than the average person does in their appearance that they are stuck up and think they are better others.

But that my dear friend is so far from the truth.

Real talk: Do you know that you actually have to invest in yourself in order for you to get more out of yourself? The reality is that people judge you based on your appearance.

They don’t know you but they will base their opinion of you solely on what they see right in front of them. This is a fact.

That is why it is so important to stay true to you. Block out the negative chatter from all the haters and surround yourself with people who give you life and speak positivity into your life. Dress up to show up and allow your passion and ambition to direct your path.

Always stay relevant and make sure you keep shining so that people will always remember you.

People will always talk, so let them. Who cares?

Haters will always hate and many of them will talk bad about you without even really knowing you.

So let me just remind you that destiny chasers don’t live their lives to please others but they live their lives to be of service to others.

If you are a destiny chaser remember to keep quiet, work hard in silence and share your success. Why? Because I believe that success is the best form of revenge.

Remember the less people know the better.

Stay true to yourself.

CanDchris

CanDchris:

Boots:  The Fix

Culotte:  Vintage

Bodysuit:  The Fix

Belt:  Shop Brett Robson

Choker:  Woolworths

Sunglasses:  The Haute Accessory

Clutch:  Vintage

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse from Roelse Events

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Knowledge is power

How many of us still read?

Come on let’s be honest now. I’m not talking about reading on social media; I’m talking about taking time out of our busy schedules to sit down with a book and read.

Do any of us still read to our kids at night before they go to bed or do we just let them watch TV until they fall asleep?

Life as we know it has become so convenient that it has actually made us lazy.

Does anyone actually still go to the library? And no I am not talking about the school children because most of them are forced to be there for research purposes; I am talking about us as adults.

Many of us have become so addicted to technology that when the electricity goes off we become bored and we don’t know what to do with ourselves when in fact there are so many other things we can do without the use of technology.

Reading is so important because it broadens one’s knowledge. It doesn’t limit us to the things we already know.

I have to admit that I am not much of a reader, but I have found that when I am in need of wisdom, reading definitely helps.

I have found that knowledge is indeed power and without it we lack wisdom.

Reading helps us in school, in our spirituality, in our sexuality, in our love lives, when we are hurt etc.

There are so many books out there filled with wisdom, waiting for us to feed on it.

To be honest, I think most of us have actually forgotten how powerful reading is and how much wisdom is actually gained from it.

The Bible says my people shall perish through their lack of knowledge. This doesn’t only refer to us not knowing the Bible but it also refers to us going through life being lazy and not educating ourselves with what’s been given to us.

If we don’t read, we cannot grow and without growth we stay stagnant. Is that really what we want?

Stay true to yourself.

CanDchris

CanDchris:

Boots:  Foschini

Fishnet stockings:  Woolworths

Dress:  Mr Price

Top:  The Fix

Fluffy coat:  The Fix

Choker:  Shop Brett Robson

Sunglasses:  The Haute Accessory

Photography done by Radcliffe Roelse and Courtney Roelse of Roelse Events

Follow my blog with Bloglovin