For many years I have found myself jumping from one toxic relationship to another.
Never quite understanding why I kept finding myself in these kind of relationships and always questioning myself and thinking that there must be something wrong with me because every relationship I have ever been in has ended up in this way.
For years I broke myself down by saying things to myself like I’m not pretty enough or that I am not skinny enough. I made myself feel ugly and unworthy and allowed myself to believe that I would never ever find true love. So I settled for what I could get.
The problem I had with settling was that I saw myself diminishing each time I dated someone else. I became smaller and smaller each time I settled and ended up losing myself in the process.
I would always be the giver. The giver of love and the giver of all of who I was. And ended up losing myself.
I allowed myself to be used and to be treated in this way.
And quickly realised that I am becoming what I tolerate and I didn’t want to feel this way anymore.
In my past, I cared too much about what other people is going to think or what other people are going to say. I forgot about my pain and what made matters worse is I stayed in relationships much longer than I should have.
Sometimes we know the truth but we just don’t have the guts to make that decision to leave.
The sad thing is, when we are weak, the only time we allow ourselves to make a decision, is when we are forced to.
And for many of us, it’s when we have reached our limit of pain and suffering and we just can’t take it anymore.
I thank God everyday that I am no longer weak and that I have found strength in my years of pain. I have learnt many painful lessons throughout my journey I call life but if it weren’t for those lessons I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
Always remember that everyone deserves to be loved and that no one deserves to be used or made to believe that they are unworthy.
Stay true to yourself.
Boots, poloneck and fur coat: The Fix
Leather skirt: Legit